Monday 6 August 2007 and Monday 6 August 2012

Monday 6 August 2007 Bank Holiday Monday = THEN

I had to wake Cathal at 9am and Emma was away on a sleepover. We went up to the Whitewater and there were very few shops open. I was delighted to be doing something so normal and boring.

I felt very sick all of a sudden in the centre and I had to make a dash to the toilet. It was not good. I felt weak and shaky. 

I am still not eating but I tried a drink of smoothie which was okay for about three sips and then I felt sick. 

It is very hard to keep on top of things in the house. I was talking to my mum in law and she was horrified that I am on my own and intends to come up. I was so relieved.

I dozed on the couch while Cathal was having his nap this afternoon. I am so tired and weak and useless!

The cat is pregnant again and about to drop any day. Another thing which I  failed to attend to due to my sickness. This could be a whole litter of kittens this time instead of the one she had in May. Oh dear. 

Eating is still not great and I just need courage to try. I am so scared of being as sick as I was in hospital that I am afraid to try. I am getting weaker I think and afraid they will readmit me to Tallaght when they see me.

I am amazed that I am not teary and weepy. Maybe I have no spare fluids?

I went for a nap at the same time as Cathal went for his nap.

Despite everything that is going on with me - it is so great to be home.

Monday 6 August 2012 = NOW

People who know me will understand why feeling so weak and helpless was so frustrating for me. All my life I have been the doer, the one with loads of energy, the one who stays up late and is still up early the next morning. This time five year's ago I could not walk up the stairs. I could not stand for very long without feeling tired and I could not do any kind of housework worth talking about. 

It was very hard to feel so useless.

Today, despite all the housework which awaits me, I am glad to have the energy to do it [really?]. LOL. Well okay, if I could just avoid the ironing then that would be great.

B xx