Saturday 4 August 2007 and Saturday 4 August 2012

Saturday 4 August 2007 = THEN

Everyone left me today. My sis went to Belturbet and Mam went with her. 

I guess it has been hard for people who have been helping out to be away from their own places and comforts.  I guess I am on my own.

Friday 3 August 2007 and Friday 3 August 2012

Friday 3 August 2007 = THEN 

Woke up this morning to squeals from the kids……the younger ones that is. It was great to wake up my own bed. Was pukey first thing and I guess this is what it is going to be like for a while. I am very shaky. 

Thursday 2 August 2007 and Thursday 2 August 2012

Thursday 2 August 2007 = THEN [HOMEWARD BOUND] 

I had a great night’s sleep last night. When I woke up I had an upset tummy. It was minor in comparison to what I have had all month.

So the big news from today is that I am finally going home. 

Wednesday 1 August 2007 and Wednesday 1 August 2012

Wednesday 1 August 2007 = THEN 

I am a calendar month in hospital today. But hurray, I am being allowed home for a few hours to see how I manage. I am nervous but really looking forward to being in my own home again.

Tuesday 31 July 2007 and Tuesday 31 July 2012

[Okay so just to catch people up as I am posting this as my Blog Ireland Awards blogger challenge, using the words winning and help. 

In January 2007 I was diagnosed with multiple myeloma, an incurable form of bone marrow cancer. I basically took the year off and had a gruelling stem cell transplant in Tallaght and James's Hospitals in Dublin. The transplant process started on 4 July 2007 and I kept a journal the whole time. Now five year's later I am blogging what I was doing then and now as the days and dates match up! So you can see what I was up to on those days in 2007 as well as how I am getting on with things now. So here's what was happening on 31 July 2007]

Tuesday 31 July 2007 = THEN 

I woke up coughing and spluttering. Because my stomach is so used to vomiting, it just all kicked off and I felt awful. One step forward, two steps back. The nurses gave me something to settle it. It is just all this horrid mucus which has been lying on my chest from being copped up and immobile for a month.

Dr Sean was in early and he was reviewing my results. I get blood taken every morning – every morning since I have been in here, the wonderful phlebotomist has been in and I am very fond of her. She is such a lady. Anyway Dr Sean was looking at the results and looking at me and we were chatting. Dr Sean and Dr Larry are my two registrars and even though I only met them for the first time on 4^th July,  we have a great rapport which is so important.

Dr Sean said I have a very practical attitude to all the setbacks and awfulness I am having. I guess I am of the view that there is no point in being hysterical.

The great news is that they are giving serious thought to letting me home for good at the weekend. But they may want me to try going home for a few hours first maybe tomorrow or the day after.

Nurse Emer was back on days today – she has been gone for a week and she could not get over the improvement in me. She said it is just wonderful to see it.

I went outside the hospital today into the fresh air for the first time since 4^th July. It was raining but the rain and the air just felt wonderful. I feel dry and parched from being cooped up and it’s just fabulous to be out again. I managed the whole trip from the ward to the front of the hospital without any help. Result!

On the way back to my hospital room I caught sight of my reflection in one of the windows and I got a shock. I seem to have shrunk. I look like a stick insect – like the character from A Bug’s Life. I guess not eating for a month will do that.

Big News this afternoon. My central line into my chest was pulled out today at 12.40pm by Dr Larry. Woo hoo. It’s gone. The line was put in on 21 May to allow my stem cells to be harvested and then to give access for the transplant and all the supportive treatment. It took a huge yank/pull to get it to come out and I have a little hole where the plastic tube was. This will close over in time. It will heal naturally. It was a bit gross though and I was very nervous during the procedure.

I am hopefully getting  home for a few hours tomorrow. My brother is collecting me as Bryan is taking Emma to have some teeth out in the dental  hospital. I am too weak to go and the team here said no, that it is not a good idea for me to be in a dental hospital.

One of my friends called in this evening and she said that another friend of ours who called in a  couple of weeks ago was visibly traumatised by the way I looked then.  It must have been horrific for people to have to watch me. Perhaps I should have warned people better.

Fingers crossed. Downhill from here!

Tuesday 31 July 2012 - NOW 

Today is my last day in work before my holidays and I cannot wait for the break. It has been a hectic year so far. We have lots of things planned. It is strange to be able to plan again. Back in 2007 there were so many unknowns. Even now, we can't plan more than a month or two in advance as we just never know how my health will be. 

But it is a great feeling to know that I will be spending the holidays with family. It was pretty grim back in 2007 for the kids and my hubby, to not have a holiday and to be living under such a dark shadow. 

Then just when we thought we could plan again, I was taken seriously ill on the first day of our Summer holidays in 2009 and instead of heading away in the car, I was being rushed by ambulance to Tallaght Hospital with the lights and sirens blaring. I developed a life-threatening blood clot in my lung. Another one of my nine lives used up.

So this year we have plans and time together which is great.

It makes me feel that I am finally winning, just a nose ahead, in this battle with cancer.

Happy Holidays. Here is the video I share every year as I head off on holidays. Enjoy.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2GL62OB0c1Y

B 

xx

Monday 30 July 2007 and Monday 30 July 2012

Monday 30 July 2007 = THEN

I had probably the best night’s sleep last night that I have had, since I came in to hospital on July 4^th. I didn’t feel sick at all. I had breakfast but then I felt a bit sick so they gave me some anti-sickness meds. We are trying to get the balance right between weaning me off the anti-sickness meds and making sure I don’t feel sick or have to vomit.

I managed to take some of my tablets orally today for the first time in weeks. That and keeping my breakfast down are all steps closer to freedom for me.

I saw my consultant and she said that the thing worrying her at the moment are the spikes in temperature that I keep getting. It may be the line in my chest so she made a decision to take it out today. I am very nervous about it coming out as it had to be surgically inserted. How can they take it out here in the room?

But I will be glad to be free of it I guess.  

The GOING HOME words were mentioned today for the first time. Halleluia! I am nearly there.

The doctors need to be sure that all the toxicity in my gut has settled so there is a little bit of a way to go yet. Boy has my gut been toxic!

I have vomited so much and had so many visits to the toilet! Eugh. I have been on four different mouth washes to prevent me picking up a bacterial infection, a fungal infection, thrush [which I have anyway] and something to protect my teeth. It has been fairly rancid! 

Cathal was on the phone to me first thing this morning, telling me he is better and that he is coming to collect me very soon [I was crying]. He went on to tell me how much he is missing me. Gosh I can’t wait to hold him in my arms and to hug him and just see him. It has been very hard to be away from him for almost a month. 

I have been lucky to see Emma a couple of times but I can’t wait to spend time with her too. She is at the dentist today. It’s hard not being there for her. She has overcrowding so will have to have some teeth out later in the week. Yikes! Another thing I won’t be able to be there for and that is very hard. 

I saw the Counsellor this afternoon and we had a good chat. I was a little bit angry because I felt that I had not been prepared for the utter awfulness of the last few weeks. I would have liked to have spoken to someone who had already been through it, but I guess that wasn’t possible. There isn’t even a Myeloma website or organisation for Ireland.

My wonderful hubby Bryan came in – he has been a knight, amazing and supportive and a real test of the in sickness and in health part of our marriage vows. He passed with flying colours.

Tired tonight.

Home is on the horizon.

Monday 30 July 2012 = NOW

In work just for today and tomorrow and then annual leave for three weeks. I can't wait. It has been such a hectic year so far and I have done so much. Still on a bit of a high after my wonderful results at the hospital last week. Long may they keep stable and steady.

Three appointments arrived for me in the post today - one for my next haematology visit in September for bloods etc. The other is for my renal consultant in October. The final one kind of caught me off guard as it is for an ultrasound of my kidneys. Why? There was no reference to this at any of my recent visits. Have they found something on a recent test? I wish they would explain things better in letters rather than freaking patients out! Flip sake. I hope it is just routine.

The medical stuff just doesn't go away. It's always there hanging over me. Anyway, for now I am well and that will do me for the next couple of months. 

For now I am going ahead and making plans for the next couple of weeks - relaxing, visiting, chilling out.

B

xx

Nominated for the Blog Awards Ireland

Taking time out from my Then and Now blog to let you know that I am on the longlist for the Blog Awards Ireland for Best Personal Blog and Best Healthcare Blog. Really thrilled. All the details about the Blog Awards are at the link below, if you want to have a read.

http://www.blogawardsireland.com/category/blog-awards-ireland-long-list/

The shortlist is being announced in September so keep an eye out. You never know, I might just make it.

B

xx