Saturday 4 August 2007 and Saturday 4 August 2012

Saturday 4 August 2007 = THEN

Everyone left me today. My sis went to Belturbet and Mam went with her. 

I guess it has been hard for people who have been helping out to be away from their own places and comforts.  I guess I am on my own.

Bryan went off and bought a wooden bench for under the porch out the front. I am still very weak. I sat out on it for a while today watching Emma and Cathal. I can't join in like I used to be able to - no going on the pogo stick for me for a while! 

I was wrapped up in a big blanket with my bandana on my head as I am still very bald. My eyes are very sensitive to the light as they are still very red and sore. I must look strange to passers by, but I am alive and that is all that matters.

We had a quiet day. I am not up for much. They don't mind though as I am home and in a way it is nice for the four of us to be back together.

We watched Jaws 2 and in the middle of it I got a terrible cramp in my stomach and I went out the front for some fresh air. Of course I ended up throwing up. It happened so quickly.

I am not sure how I am going to cope with the kids once Monday comes. I still can’t look at food or prepare it. 

I am surviving on three tea spoons of apple flavoured yoghurt a day. I just can’t eat anything else. There is a psychological battle now to will myself to eat. It is very hard.

Fell asleep before the end of Jaws 2. I guess they get the shark. 

Saturday 4 August 2012 = NOW

Yes they get the shark. There was a  weird coincidence in me watching Jaws 2 on my first day home from hospital. Roy Schneider, the actor who plays the cop in One and Two, contracted Myeloma and subsequently died from it. Bet you didn't know that? I am kind of glad I didn't know that at the time too.

It is freaky to read back on what I was eating and living on - 3 teaspoons of yoghurt a day. I thankfully do not have that problem now. It is a horrible feeling to not be able to eat, or look at food. At that time just a look at raw meat was enough to make me gag. The thoughts of handling it and having to cook it, made me really ill.

I went from a size 20 in 2006/early 2007 to a size 8 after the transplant. I lost six dress sizes. I went down to about eight stone. My bones stuck out everywhere and I had no padding on my bottom which made sitting on any kind of a wooden chair, very painful. It is not a diet I would recommend. 

Back in 2012 and the holidays have well and truly begun. We are chilling and hoping for a few rays of sunshine. It's a staycation this year. I am able to eat whatever I want and while I am not back on the pogo stick, I am cycling, swimming and able to go on the FLICKER that the kids got me for Mother's Day this year.

It feels very good to be well again.

B

xxxxxx