Thursday 26 July 2007 and Thursday 26 July 2012

THEN AND NOW

Thursday 26 July 2007 - Then

Thursday 26 July 2007 = THEN

BEST DAY SO FAR

I had a good night last night. I slept the best since I have come into hospital. I am off all drips and antibiotics since last night. My eyes are slowly beginning to clear of blood and bruising. I slept a lot today – sleep is a great healer for the body.

My consultant came into see me and she said something that made my heart almost lift to the sky ‘Brenda’, she said, ‘You are finally off my list of people to be worried about!’.

I was thrilled. She went on to tell me that I have been one of the sickest people she has taken through the stem-cell transplant.

I drank loads today and it all stayed down thank God. I am still not able to eat but my consultant said I wasn't to worry, just to take it easy.

Emma has been away at pony camp and she won a trophy. She is over the moon.

I have visitors and texts all the time which is great.  But, sometimes it’s weird that life is going on around me but without me. It’s great to hear news from people and to know that the world is waiting for me to re-join it - hopefully some day very soon.

There is talk today about me being let out for a few hours over the weekend. Wow. I am amazed. I am just on a few intravenous drugs at the moment – all the drips and permanent attachments are gone so I am freer.

I feel that I am slowly coming back to myself – I am taking babay steps but they feel so good.

My bloods are getting better - they have gone from zero counts:

White Cells 3.7 [normal range 4.0 - 10.0]

Haemoglobin: 9.6 [normal range is 12 - 15]

Platelets: 37 [normal platelet count should be between 150 - 400]

Creatinine: 169 [normal creatinine is from 53 to 97]

Still this is huge progress.

Thursday 26 July 2012 = Now

Today was a day off for me but also involved my bi-monthly check-up with my haematologist in Tallaght Hospital. As the kids are on holidays, they came with me. Cathal [aged 7] was full of questions all the way up in the car.  

My first stop in the hospital was to have my bloods taken. Cathal was allowed to look and the nurse who was taking them was really nice and gave him loads of really helpful answers. His main question was why they were taking so many little vials of blood.

The blood was whisked off to the labs in an urgent bag. Then it was off to the little cafe run by volunteers for some hot chocolate and a muffin - my usual routine.

We headed upstairs to collect my chart. I saw loads of new patients in the haematology day ward which is like a second home to me.

I said hi to the nurses. One of them said she was talking about me the other day to another patient as she had heard me on the radio talking about my work. The nurses and I have a special relationship - they are proud of me for getting through my treatment and I will be indebted to them forever for all they did and still do for me.

Then off we went to wait to see the consultant in the Rapid Access Clinic. I am usually alone, tweeting and receiving loads of tweets of support. This time Emma and Cathal were with me and we were laughing and giggling as I somehow got my hair caught in the cardiac arrest red phone on the wall. We were sure we had summonsed the crash team to us!

Then the consultant arrived and said hello and he took my chart and went in to his room to get the numbers from my blood tests a couple of hours earlier.

It always seems to take ages for him to call me and I start to think 'what has he found?' or 'it's bloody well come back' or 'oh crap'.

Then he called me in and we shake hands and he asks me the usual questions:

• Any pain?
• Any infections?
• Anything I am worried about?
• Anything he should know about?

I answer all with a no.

Then I take out my Oncology Diary - the little blue book that I have been using since the day Iwas diagnosed. It has all the results and important dates and information.

I fill in my bloods as he calls out the results:

• White CellCount 4.8
• Neutrophils 2.7
• Haemoblobin 12.4
• Platelets 223
• Urea 8.9
• Creatinine [kidney function] 138 about the best it will ever be for me
• No para proteins and no evidence of Myeloma

An A++ result. The best result I could get. It's an amazing way to mark five years since my transplant.

Of course he cautions me that there is no permanent remission for Myeloma and that it will come back. But 'we don't have to worry about that now'. Good. He also reminds me that there are loads of treatment options for me, when it does. Not if it does, when it does.

It's a result for me and I am off the hook for another two months.

I go out to Cathal and Emma and give them the thumbs up and off we go to enjoy the rest of my day off and their holidays.

God is very good indeed.

Five years and counting and it is truly great to be still off the consultant's list of people to be worried about.

B

xxx