Friday 20 July 2007 and Friday 20 July 2012

Friday 20 July 2007 = THEN 

I had another relatively good night last night. I had a visit from Bryan and he brought Emma with him. 

Gosh it was so good to see Emma. She looked good, different to me and I can only imagine how dreadful I looked to her. 

She had heard about my eyes and wanted a look. I was nervous about her seeing them as I didn’t want to frighten her.

She took a look and she just said: Ah man that’s cool!!!!!! They stayed a good while and they left before the worst of the Friday evening traffic.

I had another dose of the loopy drug and I was out of it for a good while. 

I kept thinking I heard Emma and Cathal in the room and I was talking to them. 

I had a small puke. 

My mouth is in a bad way – there is dead skin inside which I managed to lift off - not good.....not good at all......when will the drama end? 

Friday 20 July 2012 = NOW 

Ah yes the effects of the high dose chemo were pretty dreadful at times. As well as what was actually happening there was the concerns about pneumonia, blood poisoning and basically and A - Z of other serious side-effects that could happen........

I think at the time I was relatively calm as I did not have the energy to be fretting and crying.....I can't really remember being in pain or crying. There were some painful things, like my mouth and gut which bled and burned all the time......... The acid burn and heartburn were horrendous and I could not take anything for it as it came straight back up.

I don't remember being in pain, but I was aware at the time of a dullness and an ache, which must be what suffering feels like......

B

xxx